and you call that rambling?

Whenever bloggers write ‘I’m just rambling on in here,’ I always roll my eyes and say, ‘you call that rambling?’ It does not even come close to being disjointed, confused, and inconsequential. Compared to my ramblings, theirs are literary masterpieces. When I ramble on, I really ramble on, without thinking of the sense or organization of what I write. Or maybe I’m just more bored than most drifters here in blogosphere. Yeah, maybe that’s it. I’m way too bored to even try to tidy up my thoughts. Or I’ve really gone bonkers but don’t want to admit it. Or my brain’s pretending it still has some functioning dendrites when in fact it has nothing but sawdust floating around like white thingies in a snow globe.

Whatever the state of my mind is, I know I can ramble and babble and jabber and prattle and talk nonsense very well, thank you very much. That’s what I do best. Come to think of it, this whole freaking blog is just a load of nonsensical, higgledy-piggledy bullshit.

Anyway, I saw this file being eaten by termites inside my hard disk. I decided to extricate it from the deepest bowels of my disgruntled Drive C: and air it out here a bit. I wrote it in a brief moment of dementia (which is not infrequent, by the way); finished it in one minute tops, without pausing, without thinking, without reflecting, without breathing. I entitled it…

The Principle of Trajectory Endeloscopic Malfunction within the Context of Eloidical Amalgamation of Presumptions: A Philosophical Treatise

With the introduction of all the possible protracted imperfections resulting from interlocutions of elitist ponderings, now wanting in castrated ramifications, now smelling of placated shimmering, or oscillated windows, all lip service of the shod of the matron who consecrates the mawkish wanderings of the prefect whose wife meanders into the marshes of sanctimonious leprosy, warrants undivided attention. Why then must the lusty porcupines finger the listless fodder of the lemur? Because of travesty and megalomania? And what of the leaping umbilical protection afforded by the lackey’s blistered lopsided mush? In this never-colliding machinery, the spent locomotors cease to entangle plausible pundits. However, knowing fully well the recalcitrant domain of the king’s loquacious plenary trappings, the amalgamation of slivers and trapezoids arrests the vortex of seasoned ebbing. This very senile shade, in whose folds rests another rapacious yet cranky shenanigan, sees the effervescent pleadings of a truncated, masticated, and emaciated tendon. If, however, we perceive a contraction in the mezzanine of canonical bonkers, the sanguine pores of the meticulously calibrated scumbag leaps into another zooming goulash. Granting that this perception tingles the trumpeted finesse, the pockmarked leasing of unity’s posh canine holster must not presuppose a possible beating.

The presumption, therefore, of a bloated linden nourishment trims our intellectual perspicuity into another lobbying enigma, a trinket in limbo, a princely innuendo of a precarious, elemental contrition. Of all the lampooned premises, this one creates a lucid tinkering of a nunnery. Could it be the legalese that a horde of rambunctious lechers lubricates to form an elephantine ermine? Perhaps it is, or perhaps not, judging, I presume, from a kinetic celerity that chases the perfected onomatopoeic pontifical crest. However, my proposition adjuncts an overarching, lashing yet brocaded plummet into a hegemonic pandemonium. If this is the hemispherical bolstering, then the crowned, pilfered stealth of a crinoline piston does more to the draconian fleeter.

Provided that the fictitious shamble procures a sabbatical amputation, however suppositorial or endemical, we can project a pincer. And why not? Shall lisping be tiered to fixate moribund somnambulism? That would be a stark contradiction of Leplupaditot’s theory of transcendental implications. Lost within the peristaltic embellishment of the pristine mesentery of a Calvinist torque, we can, in all filigreed somnolence and opulence, extricate the limpid sonority of aquiline prosthetics.