Tuesday, July 19, 2005

where the pool ends

When I was just starting on lap swimming, I never stopped in the middle of the pool. I used to goad myself to go and touch the tiled wall on the other side. It was my little personal goal. A lap, once started, should always be finished. No stopping in the middle of the pool however breathlessly tired I was. I thought, if I could not finish this, then how could I expect to finish my thesis, or anything for that matter?

That’s how I encouraged myself to take lap swimming seriously. I did finish my thesis, albeit haphazardly, and some other little triumphs on the side. But now I feel I haven’t been touching the tiled wall on the other side that much. The water is now too cloudy to give me a clear picture of what’s ahead, not to mention the other swimmers who produce more current disturbance than a quadruple-boiler ship. Sometimes I even end up unwittingly encroaching on other swimmers’ lanes, duped into believing that their goals are mine, too. Sometimes the tides change and I feel I am swimming toward where I came from, suddenly finding comfort and repugnance with the familiar.

Most of the time, I feel the tiled wall at the end of the pool does not exist at all.

11 Comments:

At 12:51 PM, Blogger transience said...

ouch. that was eloquent, enlightening and quite melancholy. to a point. hope you are well and bubbly-splashy in your own little bowl.

 
At 6:35 PM, Blogger bullish1974 said...

"Sometimes I even end up unwittingly encroaching on other swimmers’ lanes, duped into believing that their goals are mine, too."--lane hoarding. bad, dude. bad.

i guess.

 
At 6:48 PM, Blogger slim whale said...

trans,

i think i need a bigger fish bowl. or a water filtration system. there's just too much shit floating around here...

bullish,

...on second thought, maybe i need a whole pool, not just a bowl, so i can have all the freaking lanes to myself, hehe

(laughs like a maniac in trunks)

 
At 8:50 PM, Blogger snst_blvd said...

gee. what was that all about? well i hope you find your way into the murky water. =)

 
At 9:57 AM, Blogger slim whale said...

sunset eyes,

thanks, i hope so too.

 
At 7:44 AM, Blogger markus said...

i like this. :)

 
At 11:56 AM, Blogger slim whale said...

markus,

thanks

 
At 5:44 PM, Blogger boi_bitch said...

*good vibes*

learn to enjoy the quiet of a swim in solitude. and remember, you need not always get to the tiled wall at the end of the pool. :)

 
At 9:42 AM, Blogger slim whale said...

boi bitch,

right. sometimes the journey is all there is.

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger bismuth said...

a swimmer! try holding your breath underwater and will yourself to reach the other end. suicidal, i know but really good.

 
At 10:40 AM, Blogger slim whale said...

bismuth,

oh, i tried that once but i ended up farting underwater. and it was nasty.

 

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