Wednesday, April 04, 2007

summary

My friend, Riva, showed me her old planner at her condo during one of her parties. Stapled on its pages were show tickets, bus tickets, fliers, and other pieces of paper that trigger memories of her studies in London.

“Don't you find it strange that your life can be summarized by a small planner?” I asked her.
She said she wouldn't exactly put it that way. These pieces of paper represented memories. These were imprints of her past.

Why indeed did I not see it that way? I myself had been going crazy trying to leave imprints of my mad existence in small notebooks, on my laptop, and later on, in this blog. Hell, I even keep the ticket of my first visit to Fort Santiago way back in gradeschool. Have I, in my mad rush to get on with the drudgery of work, forgotten to leave some pieces of myself behind?

One look at this blog will tell you how much I've neglected my chronicling duties. This blog was almost on the verge of nonexistence. Oblivion does seem comforting at times, especially when intrusion into one's privacy has already gnawed away portions of one's personal space. But I have learned to thrive here. I have loved offering myself naked to the gods and demons and all the other boring creatures in between. I have stripped my clothes off in this blog, both figuratively and literally, to expose my soul. You have, so far, been seeing me in all my nakedness, excess hair and all. The sublime and the hideous have all been mixed up here like jello and mud, each enhancing the flavor of the other.

Will I stop summarzing my life within these pages? I don't think so. Not while my alcohol-marinated dendrytes are still functioning. Not while I still find cathartic pleasure (or masturbatory delight, if you will) in exhuming my thoughts and laying them down on paper. Not when so many events, both forgettable and blissful, are taking me into a cycle of ennui and excitement, turning, whirling, rolling my consciousness into the mildly sour folds of transcendence.

I am back.

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12 Comments:

At 9:41 AM, Anonymous jen said...

Hoy! I'm so glad na may updates na itong blog mo. :) Meron nanaman akong pasttime.

 
At 3:48 PM, Anonymous bingskee said...

hey, hey, hey. so glad you're back. pardon my 'almost' non-existence, too. nothing much to inspire the creative juices, and the drive to hop. miss your entries.

 
At 12:22 PM, Anonymous cruise said...

pareho tayo, ilang beses ko na gusto i give up ang blog ko, pero sayang talaga, kahit wlang kwenta entry ko itinuloy ko na rin, hehe.

kapag tumanda na tayo makakatulong ito para mapalusog ang ating memories.

 
At 2:15 PM, Anonymous bullish1974 said...

i feel you, brotha.

but guess who's back (guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, [fade])?

 
At 5:00 PM, Blogger slim whale said...

jen -- you're still alive! i commented in your blog but it didn't get published. i thought maybe i was banned or something. sige, subukan mo lang!

bingskee -- it happens. i'm also in some sort of rut these days. the muse will pass by one of these days and we will all celebrate

cruise -- tama ka dyan. ngayon pa lang, masarap balikan ang mga past entries. lahat ng entries ng bawat blogger, may kwenta. may istoryang dapat ikwento ang bawat tao. lahat yan, mahalaga. wag mong sabihing walang kwenta ang sa 'yo.

bullish -- is this really true? are who i think you are!!!! you came back from the dead! how was life in hell? can't wait to read your blog

 
At 10:59 PM, Blogger lei said...

wow ur back! but it's May already update naman!

 
At 3:47 AM, Blogger gibbs cadiz said...

hi there, mind trading links? :)

 
At 11:35 AM, Blogger rmacapobre said...

tu reviens? yehey ...

 
At 10:37 PM, Blogger slim whale said...

lei -- sorry, just got busy. hopefully, i'd be able to update regulary

gibbs cadiz -- i really don't trade links. I'd rather that people link my blog because they like what they saw here, not because I agreed to exchange links. i visited your blog and it's really great, i will definitely link you. it's up to you if you would want to link me. thanks for dropping by.

rmacapobre -- heureusement, oui! ça va bien?

 
At 4:08 PM, Blogger weng said...

you are the only other blog i read from time to time, so keep it going. =)

 
At 7:11 PM, Blogger Term Papers said...

I really like this blog, It's always nice when you can not only be informed, but also get knowledge, from these type of blog, nice entry. Thanks

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At 5:12 PM, Blogger Sarah Hall said...

The entire summary looks fine! The whole process of writing can be easily compared with writing an ordinary custom paper. Thank you for sharing, and have a nice day!

 

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