Tuesday, September 06, 2005

plastic creatures

Boredom. Shrek and the dragon are on my desk. Plastic beings on particleboard terrain. I am their god, omniscient and wrathful. I tried placing them really close to each other once to see if they would fuck. They never did. Stupid, frigid, plastic creatures. Even my divine will is subservient to theirs. They desire—oh they do—passionately. And why should I forbid them to?

A few inches from where they stand is the desk’s edge from where they could fall off and lose one of their plastic limbs. And their omniscient god might not be there to pick them up as he is busy obeying the whims of a higher god who, in turn is busy kissing the ass of an even higher god who is probably filing her nails up in her posh office at the topmost floor. The hierarchy of ass-kissing can be confusing like mutant coffee blends. If Shrek and the dragon knew that I don’t give a hoot about them, can their plastic neurons still convince their plastic hearts that I am full of love and compassion? Would they think less of me if they knew that I also have less magnanimous gods to serve? Would they revolt if they found out that I tried to initiate a mating season for them, without their knowledge? But I love both of them, like a master loves his slaves.

It is a god’s prerogative to dispense love like that, as much as it is a tyrant’s entitlement to warp history, defiling the sacred and valorizing the iniquitous. I, too, am a plastic creature in a bigger particleboard terrain. But I do know what my gods have done and are doing. And I will not fall for some cheaply engineered trick to mate with another plastic creature. I live my life guided by my passions, consciously avoiding the edge of the desk lest I plummet down the abyss, knowing fully well that my gods will do nothing but stare and mutter “oh there goes another one.” I wish I didn’t know.

Ignorance can sometimes conjure wonders. Bliss, as they say, comes with it. And solace, too. Ignorance makes you look forward to a glowing future, however nebulous, however implausible. Ignorance, like faith, promises troves of dreams fluffier than your pillows. But once you believe, you get shackled to the whims of the gods. Then they pull the strings and start the puppet show to the shrieks of a rowdy mob demanding carnal entertainment. You get used to the charade and start believing that the show’s thin plot is your life.

Jester’s hats.

Luscious Frills.

Painted smiles.

Satin dominoes.

On the other hand, those who are cognizant of the grim truth have grown morose and brooding, but unshackled. Free to obey the dictates of their hearts. Free from the grip of hollow institutions. For they know that institutions stand for nothing but the interests of their founders. Beliefs are spread not necessarily because of the noble goals they preach. So they trod on with scabby feet, nursing their troubles with reason. That can be hard. That is why some vainly wish they could cling again to the solace that empty rituals bring.

I am part of that pack now. I am way past the point of no return. There are times when I do miss being in the comfort zone of a puppet show in which every scene is contrived and sure. But I cannot stand having shackles on my feet and hands. My outlook is a lot clearer now, grim and raw, yes, but clearer. Life can be grim and raw, too. At times, I even think that the abyss at the edge of the desk holds things more concrete than fluffy dreams. I will get there. In time.

And then the plastic creatures on my desk will rejoice at the loss of their omniscient and wrathful god.

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At 3:50 PM, Blogger transience said...

this. is. my. favorite. post. of. yours. hands down. there are too many bits i liked to say them all here, but that piece of writing was so masterful, i could cry. hail to donkey and dragon.

At 8:10 PM, Blogger oliver said...

Very nicely written.

I can totally relate with this and the "virgin hippo" post.

At 11:21 AM, Blogger rmacapobre said...

ralph fiennes?

the film martin luther. i got it from a pirated shop (cebu). the actor was the same guy who played shakespeare in the film sharespeare in love.


shrek story is awesome. because the lead isnt your traditional adonis.

At 11:57 AM, Blogger rmacapobre said...

nouveau siopao

c'était 40k. mais mes amis me disaient que ce n'était pas une bonne idée. les patrons semblaient des fraudeurs (cheaters)?

At 7:05 PM, Blogger gulnaz said...

excellent! so many favourite parts there! hey glad you came by my blog, come by again. :)

At 12:55 AM, Blogger DLAK said...

Wonderful, More! More!

At 3:32 AM, Blogger elvin said...

i just realized that i'm a plastic too. i want a revolution!

At 9:44 AM, Blogger Sidney said...

This is hilarious!
You are talented!

At 2:46 PM, Blogger slim whale said...

trans--hey, thanks. this is a piece of shit compared to your writing.

oliver--thanks. it's comforting to know that there are people who could relate to how i feel and what i go through.

rmacapobre--Ouais, c’est raplh qui a joué le rôle de martin. l’histoire de Shrek donnant une perspective différent m’intéresse beaucoup. Les enfants doivent regarder les films qui ne soulignent pas les caractères stéréotypes. Il faut les enseigner que les héros ne doivent pas toujours être beaux.

Pour un ordinateur laptop, c’est moins cher !

gulnaz--thanks for dropping by. i'd definitely go back to your site. it refreshes me, somehow.

dlak--only if you give me one of your sketches. man, they're masterpieces, seriously.

elvin--hey dude! you're back! and yes, we can start a revolution, let's kill that agent guy a la matrix

sidney--hilarious? really? i didn't think it was. :) hey, great photos you've got.

At 3:17 PM, Blogger Abaniko said...

But as for me (and if I get it right), I've long since abandoned the gods. I finally got tired of the puppet shows (and the games). Enough is enough. It's a risk but what the heck! Life is short. I might as well enjoy it.

At 3:29 PM, Blogger slim whale said...

abaniko--exactly! why would we spend the rest of our lives living out the gods' plots? it's time we wrote our own destinies. good for you! very few have the courage to do that.

At 6:12 PM, Blogger J said...

hi blog hop lang po ;)salamat pala sa pagdaan mo sa aking pwesto ...

noong una kong napanood ang shrek naging palaisipan sa'kin si donkey at dragon isa sa mga paborito ko ang shrek dahil napangiti ako sa kwento.

maganda ang nilalaman ng iyong likha:)

cheers :)


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