Friday, August 26, 2005

bulging tummy and peeping nipples

I feel like a fish with a paunch. After a hefty lunch of greens, fish fillet, and potatoes, all my blood is swishing merrily around my stomach, gyrating to the syncopated rhythm of my villi’s feverish mush-sucking. I feel like there’s no blood left in my brain cells. They’re all enjoying the rave party down there in my midsection. That is also another way of saying that this post will most probably be crappy. Let that serve as a caveat for you. Hey, don’t blame me. Blame my brain cells. Or my damn, party-crazed blood.

I pigged out at our office's ceremonial contract signing held in some hotel. I wasn’t supposed to be there but my boss called to have a soft copy of the contract sent there pronto. Since all our delivery boys were out, I had no choice but to rush to the hotel myself despite the menace of a typhoon hanging by a thin thread above me. When I got there and savored the gush of fulfillment that came with my first stint as a delivery boy, I told my boss I would return to the office and do some important stuff like sit in front of my computer and pretend to work. The boss said no, stay for the buffet lunch, you’re here anyway. That’s how I got to pig out big time, ladling tons of potato salad, fresh lettuce, baked potatoes, greased veggies, fish fillet, and rice until my plate looked like a dish of gourmet slops. Not being satisfied with just one helping, I again took another empty plate and filled it to capacity.

Why did I choose to wear a body-fit shirt today, of all days? Now, in order to hide my bloated tummy, I have to spend the rest of the day trying to expand my chest until my nipples tear through the fabric. Which reminds me, I’ve got to bench-press more vigorously tonight; and of course, do some serious crunches too. I must prepare for another ‘gobble up’ session this evening. I’ve cornered a sizeable amount of lunch debris from the hotel (I didn’t get that through wheeling and dealing with the waiters, mind you. My office organized and paid for the event so we get to take home whatever’s left of the food). And I’m going to feast on them at the boarding house later. That’s what I do, I binge and then hit the gym or the pool or the badminton court to sweat it all out. At least, that’s better than facing the toilet bowl and inducing myself to puke my hairy balls out like some bulimic supermodel.

And so, as I write this post and pretend it’s part of my job description, I only have my eyes set on gluttony tonight. Small food packs wrapped in tin foil lay on my desk, seducing me to dig in and indulge. Later, bitches, can’t you see I still have work to do? Ok, perhaps a tiny bite won’t hurt. Oh, what the heck, I’ll go eat again. My tummy can’t get any bigger than this and my nipples will surely enjoy a tear on my shirt.

10 Comments:

At 1:44 AM, Blogger monsilicious said...

Slim whale ka pa rin ba or fat na? hehehehe

 
At 12:17 PM, Blogger transience said...

lust is my favorite sin, incidentally. and you can shuck your body-fit shirt anytime. i have a cheer waiting to be cheered. heh.

 
At 3:29 PM, Blogger snst_blvd said...

reminds me to stop starving myself nemore.

 
At 3:58 PM, Blogger rmacapobre said...

what i would give to feel comfortable with my body. wether it be fat or thin ..

en plus, j'ai trouvé ce lien bizarre concernant les femmes dans les philippines. est-ce qu'elle est la prostitution?

http://www.filipina101.com/?LP=www.asianrelationships.info/filipina_101.html

 
At 5:59 PM, Blogger bismuth said...

ah. the joys of going to corporate events. the food! and the beer!!!

 
At 3:41 AM, Blogger ennui said...

your description of nipples piercing through your shirt reminds me of that disturbing scene in Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange where Malcolm McDowell cuts out 2 circular strips from the raped woman's orange knit sweater, intentionally revealing her 2 nipples through the peephole cutouts. This done while he was singing Singing In The Rain. I was quite disturbed.

 
At 11:23 PM, Blogger Jules said...

hmm... reminds me of those lunch buffets medreps gave us during internship... mmmm... food everylunch.. yung parang hotel containers with those alcohol burners sa ilalim... usual food are: rice, lengua, adobo, buttered veggies, and fruit salad or buko pandan. .... miss those days tho.

 
At 11:03 AM, Blogger slim whale said...

monsilicious--yup still slim. i don't gain weight even if i eat two whole elephants a day. in fact, i even lost two pounds this week. that's my curse.

trans--lust and gluttony, the same thing for me. both involve putting something into your mouth at some point. your island should reserve an area for nudists. that's my thing. then we can both do our cheers.

sunset eyes--starving oneself is a sin! go binge, indudge, live life! just avoid red meat. btw, i like your pic. sexy.

rmacabopre--i guess that comes with regular swimming. wearing trunks often has made me forget about being insecure about how my body looks. if you can think it, you can be it.

À mon avis, c’est un lien pour la prostitution. C’est bizarre qu’il parle d’une philippine comme elle est une chose qu’on peut acheter dans un magasin. Il faut lancer une mouvement contre ça.

bismuth--how come i didn't see the beer in our event? darn.

ennui--gee, that's sick. yeah, it's pretty disturbing...i should see that film.

but that would be a nice fashion statement.

julsitos--surprisingly, the food that time wasn't the usual hotel food. hindi bland. that's why i pigged out big time.

 
At 7:24 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

About the nipples tearing through your shirt...

Pics pls!

 
At 11:28 PM, Blogger Nany said...

Hello friend I really enjoyed reading about bulging tummy and peeping nipples, I'm very interesting in all topic about Nipples because I'm doing a work about inverted nipple and I would like to know if you have any post or information about it?

 

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