what's in my closet

Tagged by nelz...

THREE RANDOM FACTS ABOUT MY CLOSET:

1) It doesn’t have a door, only curtains. Damn landlord hasn’t fixed it yet, and I sort of forgot I still have some major complaining and ranting to do. Now I remember…

2) It has around thirty unused hangers from the laundry shop.

3) I should start calling it ‘hanger pantry’ from now on.

THREE ITEMS I'VE NEVER WORN BUT STILL HAVEN'T TOSSED:

1) Thong underwear. Don’t ask me how it found its way into my closet. Technically, I’ve worn it once, just to play out my S&M fantasies, and man, I swear, they’re little torturing devices disguised as kinky underwear! I felt like an elephant with hernia. I wonder why Bench keeps on marketing thongs for men. They just don’t work, not unless you’re contemplating a career as a go go boy. It just makes your crack itch and make you feel like you want to take a crap all the time and when you go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet, you find out that all you want to do is scratch your damned anus until it falls off and why the hell do I talk too much when all this tag was asking for was a list of useless stuff in my closet?

2) My digital camera. How the fuck can you wear a digital camera?

3) Thick, loose, hip-hop shirts I’ve used when I was in college

THREE THINGS I WILL NEVER GET RID OF NO MATTER HOW UGLY THEY GET:

1) are we still talking about my closet here? Can I mention my books? There I just did.

2) low rise undewear. they work well with my low rise jeans

3) my sleeveless shirts. I can wear them to bed whenever I can’t sleep in the nude.

THREE ITEMS THAT PEOPLE WOULDN'T EXPECT TO FIND IN MY CLOSET:

1) A huge paper bag of plastic bags. They will come in handy one of these days.

2) A mesh, neon yellow vest lined with green reflector on its edges, the type that traffic policemen wear at night. I found this in the UKAY-UKAY (garage sale) we organized to raise funds for the surgery of a friend with renal disease. I thought I could use it if I ever decide to go biking at night.

3) A corpse. ‘Can’t wait for it to decompose.

THREE ITEMS THAT MADE ME GO, OH LORD WHAT WAS I THINKING?

1) muscle shirts. Yes, I do feel I’m irresistably sexy. Fuck off and invent your own delusions!

2) leather and whip. I should buy these one of these days…

3) chastity belt. (who am I fooling?)

THREE THINGS THAT I HAVE A SURPRISING NUMBER OF:

1) tank tops for all seasons. If I’d have my way, I’d go to the office wearing nothing but sando, beach shorts, and sandals.

2) white socks

3) black socks

THREE DOMINANT COLORS IN MY CLOSET:

1) blue

2) green

3) er, just those two. I’m slightly color blind. I can’t recognize too many hues.

THREE PEOPLE I WILL TAG:

1) you
2) you
3) you